Washed away
by jibber59
Summary: A short saga from the old west about what happens when Ezra ignores his basic instinct for self preservation and decides to do the right thing. He should have known it wouldn't end well.
1. Chapter 1

Josiah's sarape looked like a flag being whipped by the winds as he tried to keep it secured around the two boys perched in front of him on Prophet. The storm darkened afternoon had turned to evening, and he was glad they were almost home.

They had been much easier to find than he'd expected. For a couple of kids who knew they were likely facing more kinds of trouble than they'd encountered in their young lives, they were being smart about things. The moment they had seen him riding in the distance, they began shouting and jumping around. The combined efforts overcame the storm and Josiah moved quickly towards them.

"Boy Mr. Sanchez – are we ever glad to see you."

"The feeling is mutual. You two alright?"

"Jimmy hurt his arm some when he fell, and we went looking for some water to wash the cut and kind of got turned around some. We were climbing up the hill to try to see our way home, but the wind kept pushing us back down." How the youngster had said all of that without taking a breath was beyond Josiah's understanding, but as long as the news was good, he really didn't care much about the rest. A quick look at Jimmy's arm showed the injury to be relatively minor. Nothing more than a gash, likely not even deep enough that Nathan would be stitching it. Still, operating on the better safe than sorry principle, he used his canteen to clean it out and wrapped the wound with a clean bandana.

"Okay Henry. I'm gonna put you up on Prophet and the you can help me get Jimmy up there behind you. I'll get behind him, and we'll all be home in time for supper."

"Can he carry the three of us?" Jimmy looked critically at the horse.

"Without a second thought. Ok, up you go." He lifted the first boy effortlessly. He used a bit more caution to make sure he didn't bump Jimmy's arm. They both looked at him in surprise, and a touch of fear, when he pulled out his gun. He smiled reassuringly before firing three shots in the air. "Just letting the others know you've been found." A moment later, he heard three answering shots. Someone had heard, and hopefully the message would continue to be transmitted so that the riders could return. He wasn't sure everyone would hear it but hoped most of the searchers would get the message and head back. When he hoisted himself up behind the boys, he could better feel how cold the two were. Not surprising given they were wet, tired, and likely more scared than they were letting on. He pulled off his sarape and enveloped the both of them in it quickly. "OK – let's get home, shall we?"

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Nathan was waiting as the clinic when the rescued adventurers arrived. He insisted on giving them a quick look, just as soon as he could free them from the embrace of their mothers. Looking at the blend of relief and anger on the father's faces, he had a feeling the boys were just as happy to postpone being alone with the men. Perhaps a careful warning that the two should avoid any undue stress for a couple of days might be in order to ensure the punishments they were facing wouldn't be too harsh.

Josiah was the man of the hour at the saloon as he was warmly thanked by everyone who was relieved both at the rescue and at the opportunity to get in out of the rapidly worsening storm. Chris, Buck and JD joined him at his table as they arrived, all soaked to the skin.

"Any idea how many people are still out looking?" Chris asked as he gratefully accepted a towel from Inez.

Josiah shook his head. "Ezra and Vin are still out. Chambers and Walkerton as well I think."

"No, I saw Chambers heading home a few minutes ago. Vin was out near Miss Nettie's so he may have taken cover there." Water dripped from Buck's moustache with every word. If Josiah hadn't been preoccupied, he would have found it amusing. JD was too tired to even notice it.

"So just Ezra and Walkerton. Anybody remember which way they were headed?"

Buck's voice came from behind his towel. "Walkerton went toward his ranch, so likely he won't be coming back to town. Ezra was aimed toward Chandler's Bluff last I saw him."

"Not much between here and there for him to find shelter at." Josiah observed.

"Gonna be one very pissed off searcher who comes back to us. How much to you want to bet he'll have a cold for the next few days and not be able to take patrol." Buck grinned, knowing no one was foolish enough to take that sucker's bet.

Chris didn't smile back. In the first place, he knew it was probably true. Standish hated being cold. Wasn't cut out for it. Wet and cold was just that much worse, and he would be both of those tonight. His real cause for concern was the simple fact the man wasn't back.

"Bluff isn't all that far from here. He must have heard the shots, so why isn't he back yet?"

"You don't suppose he came in and didn't bother letting us know?"

"Nah, kid. He'd be coming here to make sure we all knew exactly how put out he was by all of this."

Josiah shook his head. "No. He'd be coming by to make sure the kids were alright. You know that Buck, and it's not fair to say otherwise."

There was a small shrug in response, but no backtracking on the comment. Ezra could complain better than any man he knew, and there was no way he'd miss an opportunity like this to make a martyr of himself. "Not much we can do either way. Sure can't look for him tonight. Storm is just getting worse and it's dark as pitch out there."

Chris reached for his duster and hat. "I'm gonna check the stables, just in case. See if he brought that horse back."

Buck frowned. "Forgot he wasn't on Chaucer." That changed a few things. "Not a great day to be riding a strange horse."

"Ezra can make any horse mind him." JD was somewhat in awe of that gift. "Not as good as Chaucer does, but good enough."

"Maybe." Buck grabbed pulled his jacket tighter around him and headed out after Chris. They arrived at the stables together. Chaucer looked up, secure in his stall, then down again when he saw the new arrivals weren't there with treats for him.

"Not back yet." Chris gazed at the empty stall in the far corner. "Hate to think Standish is out in this."

Feeling a bit guilty over his earlier comments, Buck tried to sound confident. "He's smart enough to have found cover."

"Where? That's mostly open ground out to the Bluff. Only cover is downstream from there, and even that's not much to speak of."

Wishing he had a good answer, and knowing he didn't, Buck put his hat back on and headed home for the night. He'd get an early start, tracking the missing man.

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Despite a concentrated effort, it was impossible to ignore the myriad of aches and pains that assaulted him as he curled himself up into a tighter ball, huddling against the cold, dampness and wind. To call his current dwelling a cave was being generous. It was more of a niche carved into the side of the steep rocky incline, but it served the purpose of providing a modicum of shelter – but only just. The somewhat less than ideal accommodation served as a stark reminder of how dark things were, both literally and figuratively. Moon and stars hidden by dense cloud coverage, no light was coming from any source other than the brief, and startling bright, flashes of lightening. The bolts were immediately followed by ear-splitting crashes of thunder indicating the centre of the storm remained right on top of his location. Not that he needed the reminder. The rain was coming down in sheets. There was no let up in the force. The only saving grace was that is was just rain. Hard driving rain that actually stung his face when the wind whipped it into the small enclosure and made him long for a hot desert sun. But it was still an improvement over the chunks of hail that fell from the sky earlier, pummeling him without mercy. It had been a short burst, or rather several short bursts, but more than enough to leave him feeling bruised and sore. Adding insult to very real injury was the loss of his hat, first battered by the assault, then lost to another blast of wind. He was sure the remnants had floated several miles downstream by now, taken by the rushing river current he could hear below.

It had grown louder in the time since he had managed to drag himself free off the pull the swirling mass that had carried him for what he guessed had to be at least 3 miles if not more beyond the point he had tumbled in. Well, tumbled was a kind description. In truth, he had fallen ass over teakettle (as he had once heard Buck describe an inelegant staircase decent by a fleeing miscreant). He wasn't entirely certain the descriptive phrase made the least bit of sense, but he nevertheless understood the potency of the image.

To be fair to himself, an act he claimed was always a priority, the fall had not been due to any carelessness on his part. A spooked horse – not his own, who would never behave in such a manner – was far more culpable than he for his current predicament. It served as a reinforcement of his long-held belief that ignoring hard learned lessons always resulted in even greater trouble the second go around. In this case, do not take a horse you are unfamiliar with into territory you are only marginally familiar with in weather that was fit for neither man nor beast. Certainly not this man, and clearly not that beast, who surrendered to instincts as the storm built to a crescendo.

He should have refused to go out in such weather in the first place. The Ezra Standish of a few short months ago certainly would have laughed at the suggestion. It was raining hard and anyone with the least bit of experience could see it was going to be getting much worse. Normally, a perfect excuse to stay in the comfort of the saloon, or similar confines. But now, that wasn't an option. There were two children missing. Young boys, it seemed, did not have the common sense required to cancel a camping adventure despite three days of rain and storm clouds that promised the deluge would continue. All of the men on the team, and most of the town, were out looking, and to his own surprise, he'd had no hesitation in agreeing to join in. Even more than the weather, he was bothered by the fact he had no choice but to borrow from the livery, due to the unfortunate timing of a gash on the fetlock of his own much preferred ride.

Everyone had headed out in different directions. Vin had taken the most likely route, given their intentions. The tracker was the best chance to find wherever it was they had wandered off to. The others went in every other path they could, looking for any spot of refuge children might seek as the weather worsened.

Ezra wondered now, listening to the sounds of Mother Nature's wrath, if they had been found. He hoped more that he would have imagined that they were safely nestled back in their beds by now, and dearly wished he could say the same for himself.

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7


	2. Chapter 2

It was next to impossible to find a comfortable position. Ezra didn't think he'd fallen asleep – it was more a matter of passing out. Now, the sun was in his eyes and he wasn't ready to get up yet. He reached over with his hand to provide the assistance he would need to roll over and avoid the light. Panic set in when the hand found only empty space. Turning his head he registered where he was - mere inches from falling back again, his leg, and now his right arm, dangling over the side. He moved very slowly to pull himself back from the edge of his perch in the rocks, holding his breath until he once again felt solid surface beneath all of his limbs. With equal caution he propped himself up, trying to avoid putting pressure on the assorted body parts causing him the most pain. Given how much pain he was feeling, that was a hard call to make. As he became sufficiently alert to be able to take note of his surrounding, a particularly uneasy feeling began to take over. He could hear rushing water and it sounded frighteningly close. Certain he didn't really want to know what he would see, Ezra carefully leaned toward the edge, alert for any sensation of unwanted movement. The river that had carried him to this spot was moving even faster now. Rougher, and considerably higher than it had been the night before. At least he hoped it was only the night before. He pulled himself back as far as was possible, without actually pressing into the rough walls that surrounded him.

"Well, this is a decidedly unpleasant turn of events. How do you manage to continually get yourself into these situations?"

Details of yesterday's misadventure rushed back to answer him.

_The rain had eased up for the moment, but Ezra knew that wouldn't last. The sky in the distance was dark as the winds caused the clouds to swirl in an intimidating fashion. There was going to be more rain – a good deal more – and he fervently wished he had the option of avoiding being caught in the downpour. _

_He studied the horizon in every direction, hoping for some indication that the children had come this way, and found shelter. He knew he was wasting his time. There was no shelter, and any hopes of find a path was long washed away. Even Vin would be hard pressed to find something in these conditions, and he came no where close to having Vin's skill. _

_Fighting the temptation to return to Four Corners, Ezra reluctantly mounted up again. On top of everything else, he was missing the comfort and security of having Chaucer as his partner right now. It was foolish to have selected his alternate ride based solely on the animals name, but riding a horse called Luck did seem like the ideal choice. Had he known the beast's first name should be Bad, he would have rethought the choice. Luck had no desire or inclination to respond to commands, and Ezra was beginning to think he would be better off walking. He was finally able to get a basic trot going and made his way to the bluff. His last faint hope was that the boys had made their way to the valley below. _

_Reaching the edge of fairly steep incline he reined Luck to a stop and climbed off, keeping a grip on the reins. It took only a quick glance over the side for him to see the uselessness of his endeavour. Not only was there no sign of the boys, but Ezra found himself hoping they were nowhere near the area. The meandering creek below was now a furious torrent of water rushing and swirling through the narrow gully below. The rains must have been stronger upstream to have created this much force. He couldn't see beyond the bend but had no doubts that the waters had breached the banks and would be flooding the area. Current that fast would be disastrous for the youngsters. _

_It was time to head home. Not only was there no point in looking further in this direction, but he needed to let Chris and the others know about the flooding. There were a few homesteaders down river who should be checked up on. He had just put his foot in the stirrup when a crack of thunder shattered the silence, immediately followed by a blinding flash. Luck reared back just enough to throw Ezra off balance, then bolted forward. The combination of moves sent him tumbling, and the rain soaked earth was the deciding factor in his fall. He reached out, frantically trying to find something – anything – to grab hold off. His right hand landed in scrub bushes at the crest of the slope and he latched onto them as is his life depended upon it, as he was sure it did. He felt around for anything else to give him the leverage he needed to regain his footing and let out a sigh of relief when his hand landed on a small outcrop of rock. He flexed his hand and stretched forward for a more secure grasp. That was the moment the roots of the shrub gave way and Ezra felt himself slide over the edge, somersaulting out of control down to the river below._

_He didn't think he screamed as he fell. It wouldn't have done the least bit of good and was a terribly undignified response to the situation. He did know that such concerns became irrelevant as he hit the water. In what for him was an uncommon turn of good fortune he somehow avoided landing on any of the rocks that he knew normally created the ripples in the creek. There was enough water rushing through to submerge them. It was also enough to drown him, as he quickly came to learn. The undertow created by the narrow passage and fast moving rain-swollen creek pulled him under and kept him there. He'd had no chance to prepare himself for submersion and knew he needed to surface quickly to draw breath. _

_It felt like an eternity until he broke the surface, gasping for air. Inhaling deeply he immediately could feel himself choking as the river water splashed up filling his mouth. He spat out as much as he could and tried again, this time making the effort to raise his hand to block as much water as possible. It worked for only a few seconds as the buffeting actions of the current tossed him about. He reached out blindly hoping to find some anchor to stop his unwanted journey, but nothing he could grasp offered any security. _

_The curves in the riverbed knocked him from side to side, allowing him to get tantalizingly close to the shore on more than one occasion. It quickly became obvious to him that fate was toying with him, as the undertow drew him back to the centre before he could get on solid ground. After being banged out onto rocks, stumps and heaven only knew what else for what felt like the hundredth time, Ezra focused his waning energy on staying forward facing in the hope he could ward off blows before one of them succeeded in knocking him out. The painful effort was rewarded much more quickly than even he could have anticipated as he spotted a low hanging branch ahead, the fine ends of it dangling in the water. Summoning strength he couldn't believe he still had, he set himself on course for the branch, reaching up with both hands as he was swept under it. The pain burned through his hands and arms as he grabbed on, pulling and straining at muscles already damaged from his ordeal. He knew letting go would be the end of him, so he clung desperately and tried to pull himself free. It was all he could do not to cry out with relief as he looped his left arm over the branch just as his right arm gave out on him. _

_He paused for a moment, trying to catch his breath before moving to the next herculean task. The pull of the current had lessened as he got half his body above the water, but his legs were still being pummeled by the waters and the chunks of debris churning within them. His momentary sense of relief was a short-lived feeling as he could feel the arm beginning to give way. The strain of his weight, the battering from the fall and rocks and the fatigue of his struggle were all combining to defeat the progress he had made. He focused on raising his right arm to secure himself, but the agony in his shoulder made the action impossible. Damn it, he was not going to get this close without succeeding. Pushing past the stabbing pain he forced his arm up and had almost reached his goal when he was slammed from behind. _

_He had no idea what had hit him, but the impact brought a new level of pain to his body. The force broke his grip and he hung suspended for a moment as his jacket sleeve snagged on the rough branch. He couldn't hear the tearing over the roar of the waters, but he saw the fabric give way as he was washed down the river, pummeled beneath the surface again. _

_The next moments were a blur as he lost all sense of direction and time. He couldn't tell from one second to the next whether he would be above or below the surface. Every time he opened his mouth the effort resulted in a mouthful of water and he had already swallowed what seemed like gallons of the filthy liquid. He was too tired to fight it any longer as he felt himself pulled under again. Too tired, too battered, too overwhelmed. He just wanted to rest. To close his eyes, even if only for a few minutes, and stop fighting. In his exhausted state, he couldn't come up with a single thing wrong with the idea, and so he surrendered. As he began to drift, he was struck yet again by something in his path. Another branch snagged onto him, holding him in place as debris slapped at him. _

_"__Just your luck Standish. Something always gets in the way of your plan." A voice in his head berating him was not a new sensation, so it took a moment before Ezra recognized what was being said. Something was in his way. Something had stopped his progress into oblivion. He forced his eyes open and found himself ensnared in a web of branches and vines, holding him in place just above the water. Looking around he slowly smiled. He was just feet from land, and there was ample material within his reach to help him traverse that small space. Cautiously, so as not to slide back, he inched his way over. There was a fleeting moment of panic when he couldn't free his hand from the tangle of vines, but eventually he felt solid ground beneath him again and he crawled away from the water._

_He surrendered to the spasms that wracked his body. Every cough felt like it was ripping him apart, but he knew instinctively he had to get as much water out of his lungs as he could. God only knew how much he'd inhaled and clearing it out was his first concern right now. The pain made it almost impossible to keep at it, but he forced himself until he could stand it no further. _

_He worked at calming his ragged breathing, trying to concentrate on the task ahead. Every fibre of his being was begging him to collapse. There wasn't a muscle or joint in his body that seemed willing to move any further. But that damned voice in his head kept yelling at him. "It's still raining Standish. Water is only going to get higher. You sleep here, you won't wake up, so move it." He raised his head to determine his next move and the world around him began spinning. Dizziness washed over him and he toppled sideways. Nausea was next and he just managed to turn enough to not choke on the water he began vomiting out. He body screamed at him again. He finally stilled, lying on his side rocking gently in the mud as he struggled to gain control. _

_Abandoning the fight was so tempting. The thought of moving, even a few inches, was more than he could bear by this point. Closing his eyes and just waiting for whatever fate had in mind would be so much easier. Then the damned voice in his head started again. This time, it sounded different. "Running out on us?" He had no idea how Chris Larabee could get to him at a moment like this. He'd never cared before what anyone thought of him. Or more accurately, he knew what people thought, and chose not to care. But those four words echoing in his mind mattered to him and were enough to have him opening his eyes and carefully pushing himself up one more time. The world spun again, but slower this time. Gradually it stopped, and he risked looking up the rocky and muddy ravine wall that was his impediment to safety. It wasn't a high climb, but in his current state, it seemed monolithic. _

_Drawing reserves from greater depths than he thought he had, he started his ascent, concentrating only on the next move. The rain and hail continued to beat down on him. The darkness of the storm had been oppressive enough, but the passage of time meant the faint daylight filtering through was fading now. There would be no moon to help him, and he knew he had no chance of surviving a climb in the pitch black of night. He had no idea how long he'd been working at it when he glanced back down and almost sobbed at the realization he'd gone barely a quarter of the distance needed. It was too much. Voices or no voices, this was more than he could do. He laid his head on the smooth rock beneath him, pausing to enjoy a moments rest as he closed his eyes. _

_An instant later, they flew open. He was on a flat surface! It was small, but definitely flat. He lifted his head and looked around. Yes, a plateau. Barely large enough to qualify, but that's what it was. And off to his left, no more than 20 feet away, was an overhang. An outcropping that would offer shelter for the night. He gingerly crawled across the stones, taking his time, knowing that falling now would physically and emotionally be the end of him. He let out the breath he'd been holding as he curled himself into the recess in the cliff, feeling comparatively safe at last as he watched the storm rage on. _

**M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7**

**tbc**


	3. Chapter 3

"Someone want to explain to me what's going on?" Vin rode into the stables, surprised to see everyone getting ready to ride out. "Thought we found the boys?"

"We did. We got someone else missing now." JD pulled the cinch tight on his saddle and mounted. He looked a bit scared, and it didn't take Vin long to figure out why.

"Shit. Ezra didn't come back yesterday?" He cast a glance to where the horse should be, knowing before he did there would be nothing there.

The others were mounting up as well. "Don't go assuming the worst." Buck remained certain there was a reasonable explanation for this. Couldn't for the life of him imagine what it was, but there had to be one. "Way his luck runs he found a cozy spot to wait out the storm and we'll meet him riding back in."

As much as he wanted to believe that, Chris knew better. They all did. "Way his luck runs, on things like this, at best he's walking back to town."

"And will spend the next two weeks in bed with pneumonia." Nathan added, checking his saddlebags to make sure he had his potions and salves with him. He always needed something when Ezra was involved. He corrected the thought. He needed something for all of them.

"Give me a couple minutes to get Peso some food and water. I'm coming with you."

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The sun was doing little to warm him. His clothing was, if not in tatters, certainly in questionable condition courtesy of the rocks, branches and other debris that had battered him on his ride downstream. What hadn't been damaged at that point was shredded as he had climbed - or more accurately crawled - his way to his perch. How he managed to find the fortitude do that was one of those great mysteries that would likely never have an answer.

He tried to gather what was left of his coat tighter to him, but his hands were numb and covered in cuts and scrapes. The smallest movement opened the wounds again.

"Enough of this self-pity Standish." There was small comfort in the sound of a voice, even if it was his own, and even if it was berating him. "You got yourself into this mess, and it is up to you to extricate yourself." The truth of that was hard to accept, and harder to deny. Even if the others were looking for him (they would look for him, wouldn't they?), he held little hope he could be found. At least not in time. He was several miles from where he should be and hidden from view as well.

"First task then is to find a more appropriate resting place." He forced himself up enough to be able to scan the area. Down was not an option. The speed of the water was far too fast for him to deal with in his current condition, and the idea of willingly submerging himself in the frigid torrent was unthinkable. In the harsh light of day, up looked no more promising. The plateau he was on was the break point between the slope that led from the river to the cliff like walls of the ravine. While it wasn't a direct vertical climb, it was steep enough. And far. And definitely unwelcoming. Under ideal circumstances it would be a challenge, and these circumstances were anything but. Aches, pains and injuries notwithstanding, the weather had played havoc with the terrain. The mud would make it extremely slippery, and the erosion was sure to have loosened the rocks and handholds he might hope to find. That left only the option of a horizontal path to safer ground. Looking in both directions, he sighed deeply. They were no more promising than any other choice, with obstacles littering what could charitably described as trails. It was all too much to contemplate. His head hurt and his spirits were dashed. Under those circumstances, and as long as the sun was serving to keep him warm and dry him out, a nap seemed like the ideal solution.

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The general direction for the search was easy, since they knew where Ezra had been looking yesterday. Beyond that, things got harder in a hurry.

There was no trail to follow. Heavy rains had washed away any hope of finding tracks, and the area was too barren to offer much else in the way of hope. Vin had dismounted several times, sure he had spotted something that could point the way, only to dejectedly saddle up again. There had been no point in splitting up yet, although Chris was starting to think it was the best option. They were going to have to count on dumb luck instead of skill, and that rarely worked out well.

They were getting restless - anxious. Josiah was mumbling to himself, which usually meant he was praying. Chris was fine with the extra help. Buck was quiet. That was rarely a good sign, and in a situation like this, it probably meant an explosion would be coming as soon as the pressure got to be too much. Nathan was quiet was well, but that wasn't as much of a concern. He would be mentally inventorying his supplies. He'd loaded his saddlebags, preparing for whatever Ezra may have stumbled into this time and the longer this took, the greater the odds that he was going to need at least half of the stuff. JD was hardest to contain, riding off to the side of their trail in hopes of finding something, anything, there. When he got impatient, he rode ahead, as he had done a few minutes ago. Usually that was followed by a slow ride back to them.

This time was different. He watched as JD topped the crest of the small incline and pulled up on Milagro's reins. They stood stock still for several seconds before he suddenly urged the horse forward. Chris didn't have the faintest idea what it meant, but it was the first sign of action in the last two hours, and he was more than willing to follow. The others were on his heels as he got to the top and scanned. JD was almost at his goal. A lone horse, calmly grazing in the lower field. Ezra's horse. With no sign of the rider anywhere.

"Slow down kid. Don't spook him."

JD heeded Buck's shouted warning and made a slower approach. The horse didn't seem to even notice his arrival. He dismounted quickly and gathered the borrowed horse's reins. Buck was at his side almost instantly.

"He looks OK, Buck. Not hurt, and no blood."

"Yeah, and no rider."

Vin was checking him over. "Looks like he ran hard, with only the rain to clean him up."

"So he might have travelled a piece to end up here?" JD's conclusion didn't help narrow down the search options and the optimism at their find faded quickly.

Knowing the answer, Chris had to ask anyway. "Don't suppose you can figure where he came from?"

The tracker looked around the area for a minute before sighing deeply. "Same problem. Rain has been hard enough to wash everything away. Knowing where Ez was supposed to be got us this far, but as to where he'd have gone to expand his search, that's not much more than guess work."

"So guess." Buck looked at him. "You and Josiah seem to know him better than any of us. Where do you think he'd have gone?"

The two men both were quiet as they considered the options. "Well," Josiah finally drawled out slowly. "I can pretty much guarantee he wouldn't have quit. Not when there were kids involved, and not when it would mean coming back and having to tell Chris that he'd given up."

"What does telling me anything have to do with it?"

"You're kidding, right?" Vin stared at him. "Ezra would sooner quit playing cards than admit to you that he was giving up on something this important."

"Standish doesn't give a rat's ass what I think."

Even under these circumstances, Buck couldn't hold back his laugh. "You're really wearing blinders cowboy. Proving to you that he's not running out is the main reason Ezra's still around."

Chris was sure the entire team had been out in elements too long. It was the only explanation for their comments.

Josiah took pity on him. "We all know Ezra hasn't told us much about his past, but we've met his mother. I'd say it's a safe bet that he's spent most of his life trying to get approval or acceptance from someone. You giving him another chance after he'd let us down was likely the first time anyone ever even hinted there might be something of value in him. He's been trying to find that ever since."

Nathan was in agreement with Chris on this. "You guys are loco. He hasn't changed from his cheatin' and gamblin' since he came here."

"Then why is he still here?" JD wasn't challenging them. He genuinely had wondered that question any number of times. Nathan was right – Ezra loved to gamble more than anything else. But Four Corners was hardly a haven for card sharks, and Ezra would never get rich there. "Ezra earned his pardon, so why wouldn't he move on?"

"Because for all his bluster and bragging, there is a part of him that is still just a kid looking for someone to say he did good. I'd bet he figures this is the one chance he might have for that to happen."

Chris shook his head. Josiah might have a point, although he doubted it, but this was hardly the time or place for the discussion. "None of this is helping us find him."

"Actually, it might be." Vin was looking to the west. "If he's right, and I think he his, that Ezra wouldn't want to give up, I'd guess he'd head toward the bluffs. It's a good spot to lookout over the valley, and the notion the boys might want to climb down the ravine would be a decent guess. I'd been going to head that way myself before I heard the shots letting us know the kids had been found."

That was good enough for Chris, and without another word he mounted up, taking Luck's reins in hand as he started off toward the next destination. Without a word, the others followed.

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Ezra stopped yet again, panting from a brutal combination of pain, exhaustion and frustration.

The climb was far more difficult than he had expected, and he had expected nothing short of misery. The downpours of the past several days had left a deep layer of mud and slime on the hillside. Every move was dodgy, and he felt that each step forward was equaled by a slide back. He risked a look back over his shoulder, hoping he wouldn't be overcome by another wave of dizziness and nausea by the action. He had travelled further than he thought, but still had so damned far to go.

A moment of fidgeting assured him his spot at this point was secure, and he permitted himself the luxury of a moment of peace. He rested his head on the sparse cushioning offered by the moss and tried taking some slow, deep breaths. The first one convinced him that deep wasn't an option as the pain in his chest took that same breath away.

"I will not panic." He was surprised to realize he'd said that aloud but was oddly grateful to hear the words. It did seem to help settle him a little, so he repeated the action a few more times until he had convinced himself of the truth of it. Dropping his head back again, he closed his eyes, focusing now on much more cautious and shallow breaths.

The sun warming his back had dried out the fabric in a most comforting way, and lured him into a sense of well being that he knew in his heart was an illusion. But it was such a reassuring one. Just a few minutes of rest and he'd be able to tackle anything. All he needed to do was get a bit more comfortable. He shifted, trying to take some of the pressure of the worst of the pains and immediately felt himself sliding again. He snapped back to attention, grabbing at the nearest handhold, once again tearing open the cuts on his hand. He didn't have the strength left to react to the pain, putting all of his energy into holding on. When he was sure he wasn't dropping, he steadied his nerves and with determination fed only by fear, he started climbing towards his ultimate destination again.

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"Damn, look at that water!" Buck stared at the cascades below. "That bed has never been that high."

"Certainly not to my memory." Josiah was equally awed by the force.

Chris was more concerned at the moment with the behaviour of Luck. The horse was anxious, stomping the ground and pulling back from his position. Something about the area had him spooked, and that was not a good omen.

"JD, hold on to him. Luck wants to bolt." Chris handed the reins over.

"You figure he was here? With Ezra I mean?"

Nodding, Chris walked to the edge, joining the others. "Don't suppose you see anything?"

Vin lowered his spyglass after finishing his scan. "Not from up here. Ezra would have had to go at least a mile south to find a safe place to ride down to the valley in a storm like we were having, and if he'd done that Luck wouldn't have been where we found him."

Buck to a healthy swig from his canteen before speaking. "My money says Ez was off the horse, looking out like we are now, and something spooked the critter. Thunder or lightening probably. He bolted and Ez gets stuck walking back to town."

"Why didn't we pass him then? It's a pretty direct route home, and I'm sure he'd have called out if he saw us."

"Hell kid, maybe he was napping when we went by. Man does like to sleep in. I don't know. But it's the only thing that make sense." He knew that was a lie, but it was the only answer he could come up with that ended well for the missing man.

"There are farms upriver, and **my** money has him heading that way." Vin countered Buck's theory. "He'd want the shelter if he could find it, but I'd bet he would want to make sure the folks in the path of that flooding were alright."

Chris eyed the tracker. "You figure he'd tackle that climb to check on homesteaders?' He sounded skeptical. Vin just nodded, sure of himself.

Staring out to the horizon, the leader puzzled over the options for a few minutes. "OK, here's the plan. Buck, you and JD are going to head out straight to those ranches. You can get there faster cross country. Check on the folks there and make sure the waters haven't caused trouble. While you're at it, see if Ezra is, or was there, although I doubt he'd have made it on foot yet. Josiah and Nathan – head back to Four Corners. At least a couple of us need to get back to doing what we get paid for. Who knows, maybe you'll find Ezra safe and sound in his own bed."

All four men began to speak their objections until Chris turned back to look at them. The emotionless look on his face told them this was not the time to argue. "Me and Vin are going to keep looking, along the river."

Any remaining objections were silenced. Buck was the first to speak. "You think he went in?"

"Not saying that. He might well have made his way down the same way we will but with the weather being what is has been, he likely didn't get to far. Same signal – anyone who finds anything can fire off a few shots. Not saying we'll hear them, but it's worth the effort."

They all mounted up, feeling considerably less optimistic than they had when they'd headed out. As they were about to part ways, Josiah turned to the others. "One way or the other, don't come back without him."

**M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7**

_**TBC**_


	4. Chapter 4

"No more signs of tracks here than there were up top Chris. Damn rain has messed with everything." Vin had been searching for the faintest of leads. The closest he'd come to so much as a hint was the number of broken and damaged branches in a few of the trees but given the sheer volume of debris-filled water still rushing by, that was as useless as it sounded.

"He'd have tried to keep back from the water."

"Probably, but nothing on this side, and the other is mostly rockface, so that's not helping. And backtracking just leads us to the gully, and that's rock on both sides." He stopped riding for a moment, sizing up the look on Chris's face. "You lied back there, didn't you? You do think he went into the river from up top."

"No. Maybe. I don't know. Sure as shit hope I'm wrong, but I got a gut feeling. I'm not saying he wouldn't be looking for a way to help folks, but I don't see him traipsing in the other direction out to the ranches. Coming back to town to get help, yes. Heading out there on his own – what would he expect to be able to do?"

Not having an answer to that question, Vin urged Peso forward. "I ain't giving up."

"Didn't expect you to. Nobody is. But you don't always get to pick how a story ends Vin."

The ride continued in silence, following the curves of the river while keeping back from the edge. From time to time, Vin would pull up the spyglass only to lower it in resignation. They'd been riding and stopping for close to an hour when Vin reined up, jumping quickly off Peso and jogging closer to the waters edge. Chris came up behind him slowly grabbing at his arm.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Vin was holding onto a vine that dangled from the half dead tree that loomed above. "There's something in the water." He tried to lean in further but was pulled back.

"Don't be a jackass." Chris scanned the area and took the few steps needed to retrieve a branch from the base of the trunk, handing it over. "Use this and try to save us from searching for someone else as well."

With a mildly apologetic grin, Vin took the stick and began prodding at the mystery item entangled in the brush below. He sighed deeply as it came free, proving to be the remnant of an old torn horse blanket that had likely been there for ages. He turned to comment and saw Chris staring mutely into the tree. Seeing nothing himself, he moved back a step to have the same line of sight and swore softly. He stepped forward, reaching out an pulling the tattered sleeve from a red jacket free of the low branches.

"No. There has to be another explanation."

"OK Vin. Tell me what it would be."

The both stood silently looking at the cloth and the river racing past them. Neither could find a reassuring thought, and after a moment they walked back to the horses.

"Now what?"

Chris tilted his hat down shading his face further. "We ride. We search. Like Josiah said, one way or another, we bring him home."

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Ezra rolled himself over the crest of the bluff, and for good measure rolled a couple more times. He was so long past feeling the pain that nothing registered beyond the overwhelming sense of relief. He had made it to the top. Somehow, for reasons he didn't dare contemplate, he had survived the climb. There had been a few close calls, and one terrifying moment when the rock at his feet gave way, but he had persevered, with only a few rest stops along the way.

He sprawled out flat on his back, revelling for a moment in the simple joy of being alive. Now the only thing he needed to do was figure out where he was, and how in the name of all that was holy he was going to get home.

Opening his eyes to orient himself, he was surprised to see the sun to his left. That shouldn't be. The sun should be upstream, not down. Shouldn't it? How had he managed to turn himself around that much?

"Well Ezra – lying around won't accomplish anything." It wasn't much of a pep talk, but it was the best he could do. He rolled once more, then slowly pushed himself up to his hands and knees. Once certain the effort hadn't brought on any further dizziness he set about raising himself to a more upright position. Pain shot up his leg when he tried putting his weight onto his left knee, but he wasn't willing to let himself give in to it that quickly. Shifting to favour his right side sent spasms through his back, and the resulting gasp made his chest ache.

Forcing himself to stand, he managed only a couple of steps before the bad leg gave out entirely, and he stumbled forward, barely making it to the large tree a few feet away. He leaned back into it, sliding down and hoping he wasn't going to land too hard on his ass. Winded and drained, he tilted his head back. "This is not going to go well." Resisting the urge to close his eyes, he focused instead on finding a solution.

"OK Standish, let us think this through." The others were right, he did like the sound of his own voice. "You were only a couple of miles from Four Corners when this folly began, and your unexpected river voyage would have added…" he paused, trying to estimate a realistic rather than idealized distance. "Well, likely two miles, perhaps three." Perhaps ten, but that kind of thinking was not going to help him. "Of course with all the turns and twists, you could be anywhere. And, while walking is not a preferred form of either exercise or travel, it does appear to be the only option."

Four of five miles was hardly insurmountable, but right now it felt roughly the equivalent of a cross country trek. He was kidding himself to think the goal was achievable. He'd barely made it 10 feet without collapsing.

"A defeatist attitude will not be of any use in this situation. A Standish always has a plan." Well, more accurately a scheme. Or a ruse. Or some other strategy which, while invaluable for escaping angry marks, were of no use whatsoever in a situation such as this.

"'A horse, a horse. My kingdom for a horse.' Yes. Shakespeare was decidedly the source to reference right now. Concentrate. "What do you need? Crutches would be invaluable, but I don't imagine there would be a pair lying about." He looked around for a facsimile and smiled broadly. Several branches were on the ground, some 20 feet away. Brought down, no doubt, during the storms. Surely one of them would make a reasonable walking stick.

It took longer than he had anticipated to simple drag himself over to spot, and the process did involve the use of a fair amount of rather colourful language the likes of which his associates would have been surprised to hear coming from him. He sorted through the pile, less than thrilled with the results. Most were too short to serve his purpose. The few that seemed to fit that requirement were either too thin to offer the support needed, or too damaged to hold up to the strain. Dragging himself a few feet further, he finally found what his was looking for, and he pushed himself to his feet using his new accessory.

"Well, it is definitely not the most elegant walking stick I've ever seen, but I imagine what it lacks in refinement will be more than compensated for in functionality." He turned to make his way back to the tree and was stopped in his tracks, staring at the horizon and the unexpected first signs of sunset. Shocked didn't begin to describe his reaction. "All day? It took me all day to climb to freedom?" Limping slowly, he made it back to the relative comfort of the tree and sat again, trying to piece together his day. Yes, on reflection perhaps he had paused his efforts a few more times that he remembered. And undoubtedly he had actually dozed off for a short period on some of those occasions. Then there was the possibility (probability?) that his day hadn't started quite as early as he believed. But the whole day?

"No point in dwelling on matters you can not alter." He pulled himself from his contemplations to focus attention on the more pressing matter of survival. What would he need to get him through another night? Heat would be lovely. Just the idea of dancing flames and the crackle of a fire served to warm him, at least a little. The smile fell from his face quickly. Anything suitable for burning was far too wet, and even if he had managed to find a few branches, he had nothing with which to start the process going. "I really must have Mr. Tanner educate me in the ways of wilderness survival if I am going to continue in this line of service."

With fire apparently out of the question Ezra turned his attention to other needs. Water. He hadn't realized until that instant how thirsty he was. He had, reluctantly, sipped at water in puddles along his climb, but was now coming to the conclusion that was far from enough to sustain him. "Yesterday you were overwhelmed by water, now there is not enough." He shuddered as he looked over towards where he could still hear the rushing sound below. "No. That is not a consideration."

Using the tree once again for assistance, he rose slowly and began casting his gaze around. A glint of light just slightly downhill caught his eye. It was either a small pond of some kind, or an illusion of the sun's reflection on wet stone. Either way, there was hopefully something there that he could drink, and without further thought, he began the slow trek.

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The approach of two riders was the last thing Vin expected to see when he cleared another curve in the river and looked up to scan ahead. Chris was several yards back, keeping a tight focus on the water's edge, looking for any indication someone had crawled out and away. Neither man had spoken in some time.

"Buck and JD are headed this way."

Chris reined to a stop when Vin spoke. "Just the two of the them?"

The silence was the answer that was needed. The two men dismounted, giving the horses a moment of rest while they waited for their friends. The dejected looks saved the need for any questions.

Buck didn't bother with preamble. "Good news is that the waters didn't do any damage at the Coulson or Schuler farms. The Prestons lost a shed, and are out looking for some strays, but nothing too bad."

"Does that mean there is bad news – other than the obvious."

JD nodded solemnly as he reached into his saddlebag, pulling out a limp dark blob. "Ray Preston found this tangled in wreckage of the shed." He handed over Ezra's hat.

"I keep telling the kid it doesn't prove anything. Storm like that, losing his hat is the least Ezra could expect to have happen. Hell, he's probably back at the saloon right now complaining about how much it's gonna cost him to get a new one. Right Chris?" Bravado aside, it was obvious to anyone who knew him that Buck was all but begging Chris to agree with him, even though he knew there wasn't a chance in hell he was right.

Without saying anything, Chris reached into his pocket and pulled out the scrap of fabric they'd recovered. JD went even paler than he had been, and Buck swore creatively.

Vin explained quietly. "It was caught up in branches a way back. Only way it could have ended up there, tore up like this, is if he'd been in the water."

"We rode back along the south split of the creek. Didn't see any signs at all." Buck wasn't willing to say what that simple statement really meant, but Chris knew.

"If he got carried on the north side, it means he went to the falls." It wasn't a large drop, but the rocks along the way, and at the bottom, were unforgiving. He ran his hand over his face trying to wipe away the fatigue and frustration.

"OK, it's getting late –"

"I'm not going back Chris. You said it yourself, we don't go home without him."

There was no mistaking the determination in Vin's voice, and Chris really didn't want to argue with him.

"We aren't giving up Vin. We won't. But there's nothing more we can do tonight. We go back to town and get ourselves another search party together. First light we go down river and follow it through. Search around the area as well."

"I can camp here and get an earlier start." He wasn't giving in.

"You need supplies, and we all need a plan.

Vin dismounted and made his way over to a small grove. "Got all I need here. You can bring me some grub in the morning when we meet up."

"You ain't gonna change his mind cowboy. I'll stay with him. Two of us will start down stream at first light, and you can meet up us at the split in the creek."

JD looked ready to follow Buck's lead but was shut down first. "Fine. JD and I go back and get the rest of this together. I find out either one of you two tried something stupid, like looking anymore tonight or tackling the falls on your own, and there won't be a place safe for you to hide. Understood?"

No one spoke, and Chris turned away, nodding at JD to follow him.

**M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7**

**_tbc_**


	5. Chapter 5

It hadn't been easy to find enough dry wood for a fire and what Buck found wasn't going to give them much, but it would do. He returned from gathering it in time to see Vin saddling Peso again.

"What the hell do you think you're doing."

"Exactly what you expected me to. Isn't that why you stuck around? To help?"

Buck tossed the branches down. "No, you chucklehead. I stayed because I figured you wouldn't want to sit here alone all night mulling over everything and finding some jackass way to blame yourself. And that you would keep me from doing the same damn thing."

"Well, that won't be a problem. Going to be too busy looking."

"In the dark? Really? And here I was under the impression you were a smart tracker."

Ignoring the comment, he mounted up "Riling me up ain't gonna change things Buck. He's out there somewhere – hurt."

Buck took hold of the bridle. "So you'd rather be barkin' at a knot?"

"Trying to find him is not a waste of time. I'll be fine."

"I know you won't get lost – there's not a lot around here you don't know about. If you can explain to me how you are gonna find something when you can't see two feet in front of you, then I'll be happy to saddle up." Vin pulled back to free Peso from the grip. "You want us to have to waste our time tomorrow looking for you? Have Nathan not be able to help us cause he's tending to the bones you break when Peso steps into some damned gopher hole?"

"I can't just sit here and do nothing."

"We eat. We rest. We plan what we are going to do tomorrow to bring him home. That ain't nothing."

Vin stared down for a moment, then looked out to the rapidly darkening horizon. He sighed deeply and his body drooped. "Hang in Ezra." He slowly dismounted and began preparing Peso for the night. Buck stared the fire.

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Despite being dead tired and wanting nothing more that a few drinks and a decent sleep, Chris wasn't getting his hopes up. The first would be easy, but he didn't expect the second was going to happen.

"Take care of the horses, would you JD? I want to head down to the church and talk to Josiah in private."

"That's not gonna happen Chris." The young lawman nodded his head in the direction of the saloon, where Josiah was coming through the door, just off balance enough to confirm he'd been drinking – a lot. How he knew they were there was a mystery, and one Chris didn't have time to dwell on at the moment.

"Where is he?"

"Settle down Josiah. Come on, let's head over to the church and we can talk there."

The big man stopped in mid-stride. "You telling me you didn't find him?"

This really was not going the way it was supposed to. Having the discussion in the middle of the street could get ugly. "No, we didn't find him – yet. Now hold on. We are going out first light, with searchers, and Buck and Vin stayed behind to start even earlier."

Josiah stopped his advance, unclenching his fists. "You got somewhere to look?"

"We've got a trail. So, why don't you go back to the church and get some sleep. You aren't gonna be any good to anyone the state you're in now."

"You wouldn't lie to a former man of God on something like this, would you Chris?"

Lie – no. Omit – definitely. "Get some sleep Josiah. I'll come by in the morning."

He turned slowly, as if debating a further argument, before deciding to head back to the saloon. Reluctantly, and with a small amount of trepidation, Chris moved quickly to cut off the path. "Need you clear headed if you're going to be of any help." It was a short stare down before Josiah conceded the point and walked away.

Morning, as it turned out, didn't go much better. Buck and Vin had already been riding the area, looking for a decent starting point, and finding nothing. Beyond the torn sleeve and the hat, there wasn't so much as a suggestion of a lead to follow.

Three volunteers from town had agreed to ride upriver from where Luck had been found, on the unlikely chance Ezra had somehow gotten turned around and was lost up that way. Chris hadn't expected a huge turnout to help with the search the way there had been for Harry and Jimmy, but he had hoped there would be more than the handful that showed up. But when word went out that help was needed, nobody came running. He was about to start 'recruiting' people when Tiny approached.

"Got us three horses ready Mr. Larabee. I'll head out with Johann and Mr. Walker." A search party made up of the fellow running the livery, a local farmer and the town barber? Seriously? "Johann says he owes Mr. Standish for catching some cheaters at a poker game he was playing, and Mr. Walker appreciates the regular business he gets." Tiny didn't give an explanation on why he was willing to join in, and Chris really didn't care about reasons. He accepted the offer and told them to start searching. There were areas Ezra mind have wandered if he'd gotten free of the river somehow. It seemed unlikely but there was no sense in taking chances.

While Josiah was sober enough to function, he was not in the best frame of mind. Hearing the reality of the search hadn't helped matters.

"You left him out there overnight – for a second night – after he got hurt?"

"We don't **know** he's really hurt. Maybe just a little banged up is all." JD figured if he kept saying it, kept believing it, maybe it would somehow turn out to be true.

"He'd be back by now otherwise. Even on foot."

This was not how Chris had hoped things were going to be today. "Josiah, we didn't leave him out there. We couldn't find him, and I wasn't about to risk anybody else getting hurt trying."

"No, you wouldn't take that risk for Ezra, would you?"

Nathan stepped in before things got worse. "You can't really think they should have kept looking."

"You would say that Nathan."

"Enough!" They all stopped the glaring match when JD shouted. "This isn't helping, and it's just wasting time. We need to get off our asses and get out there and find him. You all want to beat each other silly after, I'm sure Ez will be happy to place bets on the winner."

There was something disconcerting about getting reprimanded by their youngest associate, especially when he was right. Without acknowledging what had been said in the last few minutes, the four men mounted up and set out.

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He wanted to believe it had been a successful day and not wasted like the previous one had been. Not that climbing to safety was a waste of time, but it was far less than he had hoped to accomplish. He desperately wanted to believe that today he had succeeded in covering a decent amount of ground. He needed to believe he was getting close to home. If only he thought that was the truth.

Ezra leaned back against the tree trunk, taking some of the pressure off his aching back and arm. The makeshift crutch let him walk, but he was certain is was causing as much pain as it was alleviating. But since he couldn't advance without it (he'd tried!), it was the price he was willing to pay.

As he'd been doing most of the day, he resisted the urge to give into his longing to simply crumple to the ground, knowing he would be unlikely to force himself up again. He'd allowed himself that luxury earlier, and the result had been losing what he imagined were several hours of daylight when he surrendered to his exhaustion.

It was more than just the fatigue that worried him. He was warm and was certain that had little to do with the exposure to the sun. The day was comfortable, but not enough to have him sweating as much as he was. This was fever. It could have been infection from the cuts and abrasions that occurred during his impromptu swim. Or from the buckets of water he'd inhaled and swallowed at that time. And, most concerning to him, it could be from some sort of internal damage caused during the experience, or the fall. He certainly felt bad enough for it to be something of that nature.

Giving into this now would be the end of him, he was certain. If he was as badly injured as he feared, making it back to town would likely make little difference. It wasn't just the thought of dying that bothered him, although that was high on the list. It was dying out here – alone. Left for scavengers and the cruelty of nature was not the end he'd envisioned for himself. Never had it even crossed his mind that his death would be mourned by the masses. He'd be lucky if anyone even attended a service, unless possibly to confirm the event was not some form of swindle or subterfuge. But a plot and a headstone would be nice. _Here lies the gambler Ezra P. Standish. Scoundrel, reprobate and charlatan, but there was nothing he could not do with a deck of cards. _Maybe there would even be an Ace of Spades carved into the stone.

He shook his head. Such morbid thoughts were not helping matters. It was another 100 yards or so to the crest of this slope and from there, he would have a better perspective on how far he had travelled. His hope was that he would see the town. His fear was that he had circled back to the river. The only way to know which was correct was to move forward.

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

"Gonna be starting to get dark soon."

Buck was the only one to turn to look when Chris spoke. The six men were together again after spending most of their day divided up to search the area for any suggestion of Ezra. Not one had found a single suggestion of a lead.

All six had spread out along the riverbank from where their search had started. Nathan had spotted more remnants of red cloth tangled in brush at the base of the bluffs, but nothing more substantial was located.

They parted ways at the split, with Chris, Vin and Nathan taking the path to the waterfall, knowing it was both the most likely, and least desirable, outcome. Vin had even climbed down into the gully, over extremely vocal objections. There was nothing to be found below, and from there the waters fed into a larger, faster river. Searching that was a task beyond them at this point, so he reluctantly scaled the rockface again. They found a spot where it was safe to cross, and made their way back on the opposite shore, not willing to leave any possibility unexamined.

JD and Buck, with Josiah riding silently along, retraced the path they'd ridden the day before to the neighbouring farms. Then, they had been hoping to spot Ezra resting on his journey. Now they were simply looking for any kind of clue that he had been there at all. There was debris from the flood waters, but nothing that gave them any trail to follow.

"We can't search at night. Not even Vin is that good." Nathan watched closely for the explosion he expected from Josiah. The reaction he got was more disturbing.

"We should be heading home." The man looked completely disheartened.

The rest of the team looked the same. The determination they'd left town with had faded in the face of reality. If there had been something more to find, they would have seen it by now. A hint, a trace of hope would have been enough to keep them going, but they had found nothing.

Vin was almost falling out of his saddle. He'd hardly slept the night before, mapping the area in his mind and trying to come up with an escape option Ezra could have used. Every idea he'd come up with had proved fruitless as the search went on. He, along with Josiah, had been the most positive at the start of the day. But, after a long day of raised and dashed hopes he didn't have the energy or incentive to go on.

When the advocates of the quest throw in the towel, any remaining hope disappears. Buck tried to find something to bolster their spirits, but there was nothing that could be said.

"When we get back I'll send telegraphs to the law down river. Let them know what happened. Maybe –" Chris hesitated for just a moment.

"Maybe they can find his body." Josiah finished for him. "Least ways we can give him a decent burial. He'd want that."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

He had known the sight that greeted him at the top of the hill was too good to be true. A house. A barn. Civilization. Not an illusion. Not a mirage. The only sound he could hear was a gate creaking in the wind, but it was music to his ears. Salvation, and only a few yards away. Well, a few hundred yards, but he could do that. He had come this far. The rest would be easy.

He discovered quickly that as difficult as climbing up a hill had been, going down was far worse. Gravity and momentum were not his friends at this moment, and the effort to keep himself from tumbling forward was exhausting him much quicker than anything else had that day. He made an effort to slow himself, taking deliberate and cautious steps, but it didn't help. He stumbled more than walked down the hill, and the few spots he'd had left on his body that weren't hurting disappeared.

Resting to recover was not an option. Staying conscious was getting harder by the moment as pain, exhaustion, hunger and dehydration combined to syphon his rapidly diminishing strength. The fever was worsening as well, and Ezra was convinced that the next time he closed his eyes would be the last time he ever did.

He tried to shout out, hoping someone would be close enough to hear. His mouth was too dry, throat to parched to allow a sound to pass. With no options open to him, he continued to drag himself forward, never letting his gaze waver from the building ahead that would be his salvation.

The closer he got, the more his hope faded. There were no signs of life. No smoke from the chimney, no voices. No indication to suggest anyone was home. It wasn't until he was close to the house that he was able to focus enough to know where he was. Johann van Draanen. The Dutchman had settled in Four Corners about a year before the lawmen had arrived and was already established himself as the best farmer in the region. Ezra had been here a few times himself, making a private arrangement for some fresh produce, and looking into the viability of trying to start a small peach orchard. Unlikely in this part of the country, but the reward would be well worth making the effort.

He made it to the gate before falling once again. Using his crutch he reached up and banged on the bell customers used to summon Johann. He waited a moment, then struck it again, not stopping until he could no longer keep his arm raised. The silence after was overwhelming. He could not have come this far, gotten this close to home, only to fail now. He would not give up.

Pain shot through him as he pulled at the gate, dragging himself to his knees, remembering only at the last instant to avoid putting pressure on the left one. He jerked back to protect it, toppling over again. It was too much. Barely a mile from town, night falling, and he was done.

**M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7**

**tbc**


	6. Chapter 6

"Chaucer old friend. What are you doing here?" Ezra could feel the familiar nudging sensation Chaucer had used in the past to encourage his owner to rise and shine on the trail. What he couldn't figure out, is how it was happening now. He knew the only answer would be to open his eyes, but he wasn't sure he was up to the task.

The result was not what he'd expected. Instead of the face he was accustomed to seeing, he was greeted by the sad stare of a mule. The animal seemed less than pleased to find Ezra lying in his path and was determined to move him away rather than simply go around.

The disappointment washed over him. So much for a last chance at survival. Ezra stared up at the newest irritant in his world. "Can't you just let me die in peace?" he rasped out. The mule prodded at him again. "No I can't get out of your way."

This time the response from the creature was more of a butt than a nudge, as he managed to get his nose under Ezra's shoulder and lift him a few inches. The shout that came from the injured man startled them both.

"So not only can I not die in peace, you want to kill me faster?"

Ezra looked up to see a face staring at him as if he were the stupid one of the two of them. A moment later, he thought he had figured out why. If the mule was here, someone else must be as well. He tried to call out for Johann but couldn't get the volume needed.

"Once more Standish. You can get up one more time." Using the fence to pull himself up, Ezra succeeded in straining every muscle in his body as he forced himself to rise. The first thing he noticed was that the sun was low in the distance, and he hoped that meant it was time for all good farmers to be back home. He looked around the farm, praying to see another soul. He turned back to the mule.

"You lied to me."

The path now clear, the animal moved forward, passing in front of Ezra but otherwise ignoring him. Reaching out, Ezra grabbed for the short mane. He expected to be knocked off his feet for his effort but wasn't going to let his one chance walk by.

"No. You may not be the noble steed I am used to, but you can be ridden." He wasn't expecting a response, but neither was he expecting what appeared to be acceptance of the suggestion. The mule stood perfectly still as Ezra staggered to it's side. "I'm afraid I have no tack for you, but I promise it is a short ride."

In his time out west he had heard that mules were strong, sure footed and intelligent. He hoped patient and forgiving could be added to the list as he heaved himself onto its back, swallowing his shriek for fear of spooking the animal. Being thrown by one mount per week was his limit.

He sagged forward and whispered, "I hope you know where Four Corners is." A gentle kick spurred his last hope forward and Ezra clung to him as if his life depended on it, knowing it did.

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

Josiah handed the reins of his horse to JD as they dismounted. "Do me a favour son and take care of Prophet for me. I need a drink."

Chris tried to block his path. "Don't think that's your best idea Josiah."

"No, it isn't. But I'd like to know who's going to stop me." He stared at Chris for a moment, then cast his eyes to the others. "Anybody else want to say something?"

"If that's the best way you can come up with to honour Ezra's memory, we ain't gonna stop you." Vin made no effort to disguise his disapproval.

Buck's tone was the same. "Yeah. And if you're going to be that stupid, at least take your bottle and go over to the church so none of us have to drag you back there you when you pass out."

"I can do that." Josiah headed to the saloon, and less than a minute later was on his way to the far end of town and the solitude of his church.

The rest of the men went back to the task of settling the horses for the night, taking their time with busy work. Vin finished grooming Peso, then made his way to Chaucer's stall and checked his injury.

"Looks like you're healing up nicely there boy. Ezra'd be glad to know that."

"Beast isn't gonna be pleased when he realizes he's alone." Buck tried to rub Chaucer's nose, only to have his hand nipped at. "Maybe he's figured it out already."

"Don't worry none about him." Tiny came slowly from the backroom. "I had a talk with him. Mr. Standish told me a while back what he likes and doesn't like, so I think we'll get along ok."

JD was confused. "When did Ezra do that?"

Tiny thought about it for a moment. "Not too long after you all took the job. Said he wanted to be sure if he didn't come back that someone would know what to do for his friend here."

"Damned fool." Buck worked at being angry, knowing his real emotions wouldn't suit his image. "Thinking about the horse when he should be taking care of himself."

None of the others felt capable of voicing a comment, and one by one, as they finished with their own horses, they headed over to the saloon.

A black wreath hung on the door. A few more were visible in town, including those at the Mercantile, at the jail and on Mary Travis's door. Chris asked the bartender how that had happened so fast. "It was Mrs. Travis. Mrs. Potter had a couple, and they got more from the undertaker I guess. There's some black ribbon on the town sign as well. Few folks said it wasn't necessary, but when Miz Travis said they'd have to answer to you, they shut up."

The five men sat quietly at the table. They'd passed on the idea of any dinner and had already spent well over an hour just sitting and drinking. Several of the regulars turned and left when they saw the group, knowing this was not the night to get in their way. There had been a few efforts to start a conversation, but they petered out quickly.

Vin watched the door each time it opened, seeing the wreath bounce slightly from the motion. He wanted to rip it down.

"I'm going back out tomorrow. We can't give up this easy."

Looking up from his beer Buck nodded his agreement. "He's right Chris. This can't be over like this. It - well it ain't right."

Pushing his own beer aside, Chris drummed his fingers on the table for a moment. "OK. Where are you going to look? We know he was in the creek, and carried down. Had to be to the falls, or we would have seen some sign of him."

"Not necessarily. With all that rain, it was impossible for even Vin to find a trail." JD was relieved to know he wasn't alone in holding on to some hope, however faint it might be.

"Supposing your right. Then where'd he go. He'd have found the ranches if the stream carried him that way, so he must have been headed to the falls. We searched there, and all around."

"He'd have been hurt." Nathan added reluctantly. "You saw that those waters were like, not to mention the fact he had to fall in. He wasn't going to be going to far in that shape."

Vin shook his head. "He's got one hell of a survival instinct Nathan. He wouldn't just quit, and it ain't right that we do."

"We shoulda looked up top more. Maybe he didn't even go in the water. Maybe he just lost his hat is all."

"How do you explain the jacket pieces in the water JD?"

"Sounds like you want this to be true."

Chris wasn't surprised by Vin's words. "No, I don't want it to be. Like nothing more than to see him walk through those doors with that arrogant grin on his face. But I don't see - can't see - that happening. If he got out we'd have found him. We covered the area he might have gone. Unless someone busted up like he was could find a way to climb a rock cliff, there was just no chance."

"Maybe. But that doesn't change the fact I'm giving this another day."

"I won't argue, and I hope to hell I'm wrong. You, Buck and JD can head out in the morning. Josiah won't be in any shape for it, and I need someone else to start up patrols in the area again."

The conversation died as another round was brought to the table.

It was several minutes before JD spoke again. "If this don't work out, I guess we need to try to find where his ma is."

They'd all had the same thought, and not one of them wanted to volunteer for the job. Finding her likely wouldn't be that difficult. There was probably a letter or telegraph in Ezra's room that would help with that. Hearing her reaction to the death of her 'darling boy' was another matter. They knew she didn't approve of the new life he was trying to lead, and she was bound to have words for all of them. Words they didn't want, or need, to hear.

"Maybe Judge Travis should be the one to let her know. He is the one that hired Ezra – all of us."

"Coward's way out Buck. Not your style."

"Yeah, well Maude is something outside of normal."

JD shook his head. "She was still his ma Buck. That means something."

Wishing he could believe that had been true, Buck just remained silent. Let the kid have his illusions on this. It might help.

Silence settled like a pall over the table again. Even the drinking had stopped as each of them came to terms with their new normal. After a few minutes Nathan pushed himself up.

"This isn't helping any of us. I'm gonna go down and look in on Josiah. Make sure he hasn't drunk himself into trouble."

"Might not be the best plan." Vin cautioned him. "You ain't his favourite right now. He's pissed at anyone who ever said anything bad about Ezra, including himself."

"Take my chances." His departure was delayed as Johann walked in and headed to the table.

"Gentlemen, I understand this has been a bad day, and I'm truly sorry about outcome. Now, I don't know why you felt the need to borrow Wilbur, and I don't care that you did, but I have to say I am not pleased with the fact you just left him at the edge of town like that."

Buck looked up at him, every bit as confused as the rest of them. "What the hell are you talking about. Who is Wilbur?"

"My mule. Found him out at the north end, behind the hotel."

Chris sighed. "Johann, I can assure you, we didn't take your mule. Weren't anywhere near your place today."

"Well, somebody did. He didn't wander into town on his own. And that blood on him ain't his."

They all stood at once. "Blood?"

"Streaks of it. I thought maybe you'd used him to bring back – well, thought maybe you'd found Mr. Standish."

"No, we didn't." JD snapped back. "And if we had, we sure as hell wouldn't have draped him over some mule." Buck took JD's arm. This was not the time for a fight.

Stealing a mule to ride into town would have been a foolish prank, and id certainly didn't seem like anything a crook would do. Didn't seem like something anyone would do. Chris stood, staring into the distance for a moment before turning back to Johann. "Show me." He gently shoved the man ahead of him. Not knowing what to expect, the others followed.

They stood behind the hotel, looking without knowing for sure what for. It was too dark to see much of anything until Buck joined them with some torches to cut through the night.

"Where was he standing when you spotted him?"

Johann pointed toward the stage offices. "Off that way. Called to him and he came over."

Chris ran over to the spot, holding his light high to cast as much of a glow as it could. Vin was by his side quickly. "You don't think…"

"I don't know. I guess he could have ended up going that way."

"Only if you were right about him climbing outta the gulch after being dragged by the flood. Like you said, that makes no sense."

"When have you ever known Ezra to do things sensibly?"

The five men spread out, waving the lights and scanning the ground. A call from Buck stopped them all. "Vin, does this look like a trail to you?" Some broken bushes and trampled grass marked a likely spot that Wilbur had trod. Vin moved forward slowly, freezing about twenty steps later, then sprinting forward. His muted 'son of a bitch' brought them running.

"Ezra? Ezra can you hear me?"

Nathan dropped to his knees across from Vin and jammed his torch into the ground. "JD, get the stretcher from the clinic. Buck, I'm gonna need hot water to the clinic."

He started to leave, but Johann stopped him. "I'll fix that. You stay here to help carry him."

Ezra hadn't reacted to any of the commotion around him. Chris stood behind Nathan, holding his light and watching for any hint of life coming from his injured man. In this light, Ezra looked beyond pale; he looked like death, and Chris was praying he was wrong about that.

"Ezra, can you hear me?" Vin had repeated the question over and over, getting no response. He looked across at Nathan, who gave a small shake of his head.

"He's alive Vin. Can't see yet how bad he's hurt, but whatever else there is he's running a fever. Breathing sounds bad too. I just can't say more yet."

**M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7**

_**tbc**_


	7. Chapter 7

It was impossible to do much for him at this point, but Nathan continued to try to check on Ezra's condition. He guessed that while the fever was above a safe level, it wasn't as high as it might be. But it did scare him to consider the long list of possible reasons. Pulse rate was good; weak, but steady, albeit a little faster that was ideal. Resting a hand lightly on Ezra's chest he could feel the vibrations of the soft wheezing. Not that confirmation was needed, but it did prove that Ezra had been in the water and inhaled a fair amount. He must have managed to cough up most of it, but the effects were still evident. The examination was cut short when JD returned.

Nathan stepped clear as the stretcher was placed on the ground. He moved to Ezra's head and Chris shifted to his feet. Buck and JD knelt where Nathan had been. "OK guys. We lift on the count of three. Slow and smooth. He may have made it this far, but he is likely busted up, and we don't want to make things worse."

They moved him as carefully as they could, but it was still enough to get a reaction from him. The gasp and moan were both reassuring and unnerving to them. No one said a word as they moved him around the corner ready to take him to the clinic.

"Stop. I want to see him in the light first."

With better light from the lamps at the hotel door, Nathan was able to confirm his concerns.

"He's filthy. Dirt and God knows what else in all these wounds. We need to clean him up proper."

JD ran ahead to pry open the door to the bathhouse only to discover Johann was already there and stoking the embers to get the stove hotter. There was always warm water on there, but it wasn't going to be enough. Still, it was a start. He began pouring room temperature water into an empty tub, trusting it was clean enough not to make things worse. With the young man's arrival, the farmer stepped out, knowing he didn't belong there right now. By the time the others had arrived the tub was about a third full. JD added the first of the hot water and stepped out of the way.

Ezra was barely conscious, aware he was being moved, but not sure where or how. He sensed the motion at a level that didn't really register with him. Hands pulled gently at his clothing and he knew he should react but couldn't. He simply didn't have it in him anymore to respond to anything that was happening.

In all the time he'd been helping with injured people, Nathan had never seen anyone so completely covered in bruises. There was scarcely an inch on Ezra that wasn't some ugly shade of blue or purple, other than those places were the skin had been rubbed raw and was red with inflammation. In contrast, the pallor of his face took on an eerie appearance. All in all, it was terrifying to look at.

"Shit." Buck's exclamation summed it up quite well.

"Move him slow and easy. That water is bound to sting on some of this."

They lowered him slowly, Nathan watching closely for signs of further discomfort. The water began to immediately change colour as dried mud and blood fell away. JD brought over a clean bucket that had been warmed and Nathan took a scoop out to start washing Ezra's face. The water splashed up gently, and the reaction was instantaneous as Ezra began thrashing, pulling away and fighting with a strength that stunned them all.

"Easy Ezra, we got you. It's alright Hoss."

"No, get him out – now. He thinks he's drowning again!" Chris reached in to lift him and the others followed his lead. The burst of activity faded as quickly as it had appeared, but Ezra was trembling violently as they set him back on the stretcher. Whether it was shock, fear, pain or cold, they couldn't say, but it galvanized them into action. JD grabbed every towel or blanket he could lay his hands on and they wrapped Ezra, trying to reassure him.

"His room is a lot closer than the clinic. We'll get him comfortable there while you get what you're going to need Nathan. The faster he's settled, the easier it will be to fix him up."

There was no arguing with Chris when he used that tone. They carried Ezra's stretcher out into the street, still trying to convince him things were going to be fine. His eyes darted around as they moved as quickly as they felt was safe, past the saloon and back to the boarding house. They had all had enough practice carrying wounded comrades to make the trip upstairs relatively smooth.

Vin pulled a chair up to the bed, sitting as close to Ezra's head as he could.

"Easy Pard. Slow and easy. It's over. You're safe." The trembling continued, but it looked like his breathing was a bit calmer. The others stood back, not knowing what they could do to help. Nathan charged into the room as settled the question for them.

"Get out. I need room and he doesn't need you here right now. You want to help, get me more water and towels. Still have a lot of cleaning up to do. Go."

With one exception, they all followed orders. Vin stayed where he was. "You need someone to help keep him calm."

Chris closed the door behind him, leaning back against the wall as the adrenaline rush disappeared.

"Son of a bitch – he looks bad."

Buck actually laughed, and the other two looked at him as if he had lost his mind. "We were expecting to find him at the bottom of the falls or chewed on by coyotes. I'd say he's looking damned good next to those choices."

"Well, if you put it that way I guess things could be worse."

The men headed downstairs, ready for a drink or two to hold them over until they got an update. They weren't expecting anyone to be waiting for them in the street.

"Is it true?" Mary was almost breathless. "Johann says Ezra is alive?"

"Don't know why you bother with a paper Mary – word gets around pretty fast without it. Yeah, he's up there. He's hurt pretty bad, but he got himself back to town. Anyone asks, just say he's being taken care of. Ok?"

"I'll let people know and tell them to keep their distance for now. There are going to be a lot of people glad to hear this."

"Hopefully more than were willing to help us find him." Chris was still pissed off about the indifference of most the town. There was some comfort in the number of people who seemed upset when word spread of what happened, but it still wasn't as much as Ezra deserved.

Tiny broke out in a rare broad grin before turning to leave. "I best let Chaucer know."

"Come on Buck – let's go tell Josiah." JD was bouncing on the balls of his feet with excitement at the prospect of sharing the good news. Before he could take a step Chris grabbed at his arm.

"Not yet. We should wait on what Nathan has to tell us first. And I'll be the one to let him know. Need to say a few other things to him."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

Time passed slowly as the men's patience waned. It was well past closing time at the saloon, but the place was still lit up. Everyone, including the bartender, had left for the night, leaving just one table occupied. Conversation there had ended some time earlier, and now they just sat waiting. JD fidgeted with a deck of cards. He'd been trying to master some of the shuffling techniques Ezra had been showing him but gave up on that after the dirty look he got from Chris after dropping half the deck repeatedly. He'd resorted to a basic shuffle and endless hands of solitaire.

Buck and Chris each stared off in silence, lost to their own thoughts. Neither needed to hear a word to know what the other was thinking. They were both dealing with the guilt of their willingness to assume the worst so quickly. They were holding a wake for their fellow lawman, while he struggled to make his way home.

"Wouldn't have mattered." Buck finally said quietly. "We couldn't have searched at night, even if we'd still been looking."

"Like hell it doesn't matter. What if he hadn't made it to town? He coulda died less than a mile from home because we stopped. Hell, he damn neared died IN town."

"We did everything that made sense Chris. I still can't figure how he ended up at van Draanen's place, let alone how he rode into town on a damned mule."

JD chuckled unexpectedly. "Wish I could have seen that. I mean really, how many times in our lives are we gonna have a chance to see Ezra Standish riding a mule?"

Even Chris cracked a small grin at that image. "Well, it certainly isn't up to his usual standards."

"Chaucer finds out he's liable to send Ez flying next time he tries to mount up, just out of spite."

The tension was gone, at least for the moment, as the trio pictured the scene. The laughter quieted when the door opened and Nathan walked in, looking beyond exhausted.

"Well, don't stop on my account. Sounds good to hear." He smiled.

"He's ok?" JD's anxious tone reflected how they all felt.

"Not yet, but I **think** he will be." There was a collective sigh of relief. "He's still got a fever, but none of the wounds looks to be seriously infected. I've got him wrapped in poultices to help heal them up. His hands are cut some, and his knee is turned pretty bad. Rest and time should take care of that."

He paused long enough to head to the bar and help himself to a beer, drinking half of it down before continuing. "But there's still a problem. Worst of it is the overall shape he's in. He's totally worn down. Exhausted, dehydrated. Don't think he's eaten anything either. You saw what he looked like. His body is one giant bruise, peppered with cuts and gouges. He's not showing any signs of internal bleeding, though I'm sure some of those bruises are deep. Can guarantee you one thing - he's hurting bad."

"But, he's gonna be ok?" Buck wasn't as confident as he'd been a moment earlier.

Nathan shrugged slightly. "Like I said, I **think** so. It's just – it's hard to know how much fight he's got left."

"Making it home should answer that."

"I don't know Chris. I would have guessed that too, but he just seems done. Like this was his goal, and now he's here, he can just quit. Vin is up there trying to make sure he knows that ain't the case."

"He awake enough to hear it?"

Another shrug answered. "Drifting in and out. Seems to understand us and know where he is. I'm gonna clean up a bit and get a few more supplies, then head back up."

Chris stood. "Take your time. Me and Ezra are going to have a little chat."

"Cowboy, this ain't the time…"

"No, it's exactly the time."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

Vin turned his head slightly when the door opened.

"Oh Ezra. You're in trouble now. Chris has that look in his eye." There was no reaction from the bed.

"Leave us for a couple minutes."

He sat for a moment, making up his mind, before leaning back over the pillow. "I'll be right back. Don't you go anywhere." He stood and walked over to the door, taking Chris firmly be the arm. "You make this worse and you'll answer to me."

Instead of taking the comment personally Chris smiled, pleased to see Ezra was being protected, even from him. "Got no plan to do that."

When the door closed, Chris remained standing for a moment, marvelling at the fact Ezra was back. The shape he was in proved they'd been right about at least one thing. He'd fallen into that river and tossed around like a child's toy. He looked fragile and broken, wrapped now in bandages and dressings with nowhere that remained unscathed. Chris couldn't help the adjustment his mind made to that image – not so much a child's toy, as the wounded child. Ezra would have hated to hear that.

He pulled the chair back from the bed, spinning in around before straddling it. "This time I have a different reason for telling you that you ain't allowed to run out on us, and it's a lot more important than the first one was. You need to fight through this. We ain't gonna lose you like this." He waited for a response. "That must be one hell of a story you're going to have for us Standish. Don't think you're gonna need to do any exaggerating to keep this one interesting. We all went through one hell of a lot looking for you, and here you turn around and make it back on your own. We all coulda just stayed put."

"I did not intend to cause problems." The voice was weak, but the attitude was intact.

"You never do Ezra, but you do seem to have a gift for it." Ezra made a move to sit up, but a gentle push back from Chris was all it took to stop him. "Not yet. Right now all you have to do is lie still and get your strength back. Guess that means you'll be able to sleep in for a few days."

Ezra closed his eyes, but Chris could tell he was still awake. He stood up and moved in closer. "I meant what I said Standish. You aren't thinking about quitting on us now, are you?"

"And risk your wrath? I am many things, but I am not that foolish." He managed to punctuate his comment with a weak grin before drifting off again. The door had opened to let Nathan enter, with Vin following closely enough to hear Ezra's comment.

"Only you could intimidate a man into getting better Chris." Vin smirked as he took his place by the bed again.

"Just hope it worked. Keep an eye on him Vin. I got someone else to straighten out."

**M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7**

_tbc_


	8. Chapter 8

There was a consensus of opinion that said Josiah hadn't bothered putting the windows into his church because his snoring would have broken the glass. This was especially true when alcohol was involved, and right now the rumbling snoring sound coming from the front pew was supporting that belief.

Chris walked to the front of the church, shaking his head as he tried to figure out the best way to handle this. He looked down and saw exactly what he'd expected. Josiah sprawled across the wooden bench, just barely staying on it. An empty bottle lay a few feet away, and another half full one was closer had hand. He hoped the first bottle hadn't been full when the drinking had started.

"Josiah." As expected, there was no response, so he raised his voice. He wasn't about to get any closer. The man had a tendency to lash out when awakened from this state.

"Josiah!" Still nothing. Chris looked around and his grin had just a hint of evil in it as he spotted the buckets that had been collecting rainwater. He picked up the closest one and made his way back to his unresponsive target. The wave of water hit him full in the face.

Flailing, sputtering and a fair bit of language inappropriate to the venue followed. Picking up a second bucket, Chris approached again.

"Do you need more?"

Josiah tried to push himself upright but succeeded only in tumbling off the pew altogether. He sat on the floor staring up still in a daze.

"I can't imagine what would make you take your life in your hands like that brother."

"We need to talk."

"That's not even close to being a good enough reason."

Chris sat on the steps to the preacher's platform. "Disagree. What do you think you're doing Josiah? Take it from someone who knows – crawling into a bottle doesn't solve a damn thing." There was no response beyond a low growl of disagreement. "Do you really think doing this to yourself – to us – is what Ezra would want?"

"I was raising a toast to a friend. No harm in that."

"I'd say that was more than just a toast. If that was all you wanted to do that then you could have joined the rest of us at the saloon."

He wiped the water from his face before answering. "Wasn't so sure you'd all be feeling that way."

"You think you're the only one that was upset by this? That was hurt?"

"You and Nathan didn't even want to keep searching. Buck wrote him off in a hurry as well."

Chris took a deep breath before answering. "We didn't want to search at night and risk anyone else getting hurt. Ezra wouldn't have wanted that either. Vin and Buck stayed out there to start searching early, and you know damn well we all did what we could."

He put up a hand, stopping Josiah before he could comment further. "I ain't gonna deny that there are times that Ezra could be more of a burden than a blessing, and if ever there was a man who could find trouble without looking, it's him. But despite all that, or maybe because of it, he's a part of this team. If you think it gave me any pleasure to come to the conclusions I did out there today, then you don't know me too well."

"You, Nathan, even Buck and JD – you didn't trust him. Didn't make him feel like he fit in. Sure, if you needed something sneaky or underhanded he was useful, but that was it."

Chris could feel himself getting defensive. "Tell me preacher – isn't there something in that good book of yours about 'he who is without sin'? You've had your moments with Ezra, just like the rest of us."

He would have loved to deny it but feared a bolt of lightening would surely strike him down for the blasphemy of such a blatant lie, especially given their current location. He liked Ezra, no question. Worried about him, and even on occasion had prayed for him. And if asked, he would have introduced him as a friend. But Chris was right. He had yet to learn to fully trust Ezra. The seeds of doubt had been planted, and like any stubborn weed were all but impossible to completely destroy

"Listen to me Josiah. If I didn't trust him, I wouldn't have had him stick around. And despite what you think, if he didn't know that he would have been long gone. He wouldn't risk his neck otherwise. No sane man would."

Josiah dragged himself to his feet, unsteady as he weaved his way over to Chris and picked up the bucket on the ground, pouring it over his own head in a futile effort to battle the hangover. "Doesn't really matter now – does it? All the talk. All the excuses. None of it makes a damned bit of difference anymore."

"Sit down." He didn't move. "Josiah. You need to be sitting 'cause I don't intend to try to pick you up off the floor."

With as much of a glower as he could summon, Josiah dropped to seat and slid back, keeping himself propped up to create the illusion he was in control of himself.

"I'm going to tell you something, and you are going to stay seated when you hear it. You aren't leaving this church until you are sober enough to walk more than 5 steps without falling on your ass. Is that understood?"

"Have your say and let me go back to sleep."

"Ezra ain't dead. He's hurt but he's alive. He's at Nathan's – Damn It. I said stay put."

He grabbed for Josiah missing the sleeve but catching up a moment later as the bigger man stumbled in his haste. "Sit!"

"Alive? How?"

"We don't have any details yet. Like I was saying, he's hurt. Pretty bad, but Nathan has him patched up. He needs to rest, so no visitors for the night. I will walk over there with you in the morning if you need the help so as you can see for yourself, but for now, you have to stay put. You understand me? He needs his rest, and I'm pretty sure you do to."

Josiah sat on the closest pew. "I never – I can't believe this." He looked up at Chris, defying him to admit this was some sick joke.

"Much as we all might be less than pleased with ourselves and each other over the way this all played out, I'm not going to lie on something like this."

"I guess I have not behaved in the most ideal of manners during the last hours." It wasn't much by way of an apology, but it was all that was needed between friends.

Chris had to concede his actions had not been up to his own standards either. "We've all been a bit off our game."

"He badly hurt?"

Chris could feel some of the tension in his body dissipating as Josiah's disposition mellowed. "He looks like he's been beat on something fierce. Weak, exhausted. To be honest, I haven't got a clue how he managed to get back to town. Guess maybe you were right about the level of determination that lunatic has."

"But he'll be alright?" He was having trouble wrapping his mind around the abrupt turn of fate.

"Ordered him to, so he better be."

"Our contrary colleague rarely sees the need to follow your orders Chris."

"He knows better than to cross me on something this important." He smiled as he finally saw Josiah accepting the news. "Nathan is all but promising he'll be okay but will be laid up for a while. Probably quite a while, so you need to stay away from that bottle to help us cover the patrols and such. Think you can handle that?"

"I believe I can find it within myself to meet the challenge, with the right motivation." Josiah smiled as he stretched himself out on the bench. "Now, if you don't mind Chris, I think I best stay here and do a bit of apologizing to the higher powers for a while. You let Ezra know I'm coming by in the morning to give him a piece of my mind for scarin' us all like that."

**M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7**

**tbc**


	9. Chapter 9

The men spent their time for next three days rotating between their usual duties and sitting next to Ezra's bed as he drifted in and out of awareness. He never managed to stay conscious for more than a moment or two, and always had to be reassured that he was in fact safely home. Nathan had to do some reassuring of his own, convincing them that all appearances to the contrary, Ezra was getting better. The bruises got uglier before starting to show signs of healing, and he fought the fever throughout his slow recuperation. Self-recrimination seemed to be the repeating theme, as each of the team tried to apologize to him for what they saw as giving up too soon. He never responded, unable to stay awake through the confessions of guilt.

"You know," Vin suggested after completing after one such monologue, "I would be willing to bet a week's pay that you won't see it that way."

"I would presume you had better things to with your time."

Vin smiled at hearing a bit more alertness this go around. "Can't for the life of me figure what that would have been." Further comment was cut off as the door opened.

"Did I hear him actually answering you there, Vin?"

Chris passed over the cup of coffee he had brought, while Nathan made his way to the bed for the regular check-up.

"Think you can stay awake for a few minutes this time Ezra? Really would like to try to get some food into you. Only so long you can survive on my teas." Nathan felt for fever and determined it seemed to have finally stopped trying to return. He checked the bandages on Ezra's hands, watching for reactions, and was relieved to see the man flinch in discomfort. "Not smiling at your pain Ezra. Just glad to see the feeling is there. Your hands took a beating, and we all know how particular you are about keeping them in good shape. You should be shuffling again in no time."

Ezra tried shifting on the bed and couldn't contain the groans that were generated by the effort. "At least that offers one moment of relief in what is otherwise a sea of misery. As for your initial suggestion Mr. Jackson, I do not believe that a meal would be well received at this point."

"Not talking about meat and potatoes, just some broth and maybe a bit of bread. Need to start you off slow, but you have to work at getting your strength back."

"Yeah, 'cause they keep telling me I can't chew you out for being such a fool until you're feeling better." Assuming the small groan was a reaction to discomfort rather than what was said, Chris continued. "Next time I send you to search an area, stick to that spot Ezra. Never seen a man who could find so many ways of getting himself into trouble."

There was no denying the truth of that. Taking a moment to look at the faces staring down at him, Ezra was surprised to see they looked almost as tired as he felt. Then again, he imagined with what had transpired in the past few days, they had the right to feel that way. The fact that they had needed to search for him as well as deal with everything else that had been going on only made him want to burrow deeper into his bed.

"I am truly sorry."

Chris was taken aback by the submissiveness in the tone of the simple sentence. "Ah shit Ezra. Don't be sorry. I wasn't serious about what I said."

"Not that. Not just that. About the boys. I tried to find them but failed."

That was the last thing he'd expected to hear as an apology. Truth was, he didn't expect one at all.

"In the first place Standish, you can't find something that ain't where you're looking. I gave you directions, and for once in your life you followed them." Chris knew he should stop talking before he regretted it, but he was still annoyed with Ezra for getting himself into such a potentially deadly situation. "Course that wasn't enough for you and you kept going, which is what caused all this mess. Still, not finding Jimmy and Harry isn't your fault."

Ezra felt his throat tighten at the words. "Neither boy was even found?" He couldn't imagine what that would be like for the families. "And you wasted valuable time searching for me?"

Chris stared for a moment, processing what he was hearing. Vin stepped into the void. "Whoa there Pard. You're missing a few parts of the story. Josiah found them both, safe and sound. Boys are just fine."

Ezra tried to shake his head but found even that simple gesture took more energy than he could find. "Then why?"

"Why what?"

"The wreaths. I saw black wreaths when I arrived. If not for the boys…"

Chris was surprised Ezra would have been able to take note of anything, the state he was in. Leave it to him to focus on something like that. "They were for you."

"Absurd."

"Not absurd, just wrong. But when we found… well, with what we found, we figured we'd lost you in that damn river."

They had thought him dead? The notion had not really occurred to him, in large part, he realized, because he could not imagine that they would have cared one whit about that fact. What made it even more confounding to him was the sadness that crept into Chris's voice as he had made the statement. It took him only a moment to figure out the conundrum. His failure to return from the search clearly left the others with the impression he had once again run out on them. Once again, he had let them down. It was easy to understand why they would accept his death over the idea they had misplaced their trust. Would there ever come a time in his life when he wasn't proving his irrelevance in this world?

Nathan didn't think it was possible for his patient to look any paler, but once again Ezra proved him wrong. He quickly went to the bedside.

"Just close your eyes and focus on breathing slow and easy Ezra. Deep breathes are not a good idea yet. Slow. Chris and Vin are going to leave you now so you can rest." He glared at the two men to defy him, and of course, both did.

Chris kept speaking. "We looked for you Ezra, but…" How did you tell someone you had given up on them?

"I understand. There were other concerns of a more pressing priority."

"No damn it!" Vin stepped forward. "You don't understand. There was nothing more important and we weren't wasting our time looking. We searched until we were convinced you must be dead. Damn near killed us to accept that."

Ezra opened his eyes to look at them all. He must have been more seriously injured than he thought, because nothing that was being said made any sense to him. The uncertainty on his face was evident and the reality of what it meant finally registered with Chris.

"What – you don't think anyone would grieve for you?"

"There has been little evidence to the contrary."

The comment hit Vin like a punch to the gut. How had they failed to see how vulnerable Ezra was underneath all of his bluster? "Well, if you had been awake enough for the past three days to know what was happening, you'd have your evidence. Chris here damn near worked a hole into the floor pacing back and forth waiting for you to wake up. Josiah plum wore out the knees on his trousers with all the prayin' he's been doing. Nathan – hell, he's hardly been sleeping what with checking on you every time you moaned or twitched. Buck has been grittin' his teeth like he could bite the sites off a six-gun. And JD's been jumpier than a girl on her first date."

"Of course, Vin has been calm and cool. Fact that he ain't been more that 10 feet from the clinic is just a coincidence." Chris could see Ezra still couldn't accept what was being said. "We were scared. Pure and simple. First when we couldn't find you, and then when we thought it was too late."

Clearly he had hit his head at some point and was still dreaming. It was the only feasible explanation Ezra could reach for the reactions listed and for what he was seeing and hearing now. If he could find the energy to do so, he would have pinched himself to confirm his suspicions. A soft tapping at the door stopped him before he could make the effort.

"We were wondering why you hadn't come back down. Kinda hoping this was the reason." JD's smile nearly split his face.

Josiah was quiet as he gently pushed his way through to get next to the bed. "Guess sometimes even sinners like me get a prayer answered."

"Surely your interactions with the Divine should be reserved for more deserving souls."

There was disbelief on the faces of the newcomers to the room. Chris, on the other hand, had heard enough. "Damn it Ezra, ya gotta stop that shit."

"You are a part of this team. A part of this town." Vin was almost pleading with him to accept that, to no avail.

"I am a contrivance and a convenience at best, and to judge by past observations a burden and a challenge more often than not. Please, do not concern yourself with this. It is a fact of my life I have long since come to accept."

"If you feel that way, why'd you go out in the storm in the first place?" It was time to put an end to this crap once and for all.

Ezra managed a weak shrug, trying to appear dismissive of the question. "Given the fact, Mr. Larabee, that I am supposed to be a representative of law and order – a fact which never fails to amuse me – it was prudent that I maintain that pretence by involving myself in the quest."

Buck was getting as frustrated by this as his friends were. "Bullshit. You could have said you were staying here to keep an eye on things. Or headed back as soon as you'd covered your turf."

"Staying back would not have been a prudent plan Mr. Wilmington, as our leader would have vetoed such a proposal instantly."

"You did it because it was the right thing to do. The only thing you could do. The man that your pretending to be right now – he's history. You just don't seem to be ready to see that."

"Josiah's right Ezra." Nathan's voice was subdued. "Worst part is, you aren't the only one denying it. I haven't exactly been willing to acknowledge you aren't the same man who didn't want to ride with me in the past, even though I know for a fact that's the God's truth."

Chris stepped forward. "We've mostly all had problems with that, and it needs to stop now. From all of us. Including you."

There was a moment of silence in the room as they waited for a response. Ezra was sure he was too tired to process all of this. He'd seen far too many scams and cons over the years to accept anything that anyone said at face value. But search though he might, he couldn't find a false note in anything they said. Every eye met his, every face held firm. If this was a bluff, it was the best he had ever seen.

"Ezra." JD spoke hesitantly. "Why would you fight so hard to get back here, why would you have even stayed around if you didn't think – even just a little – that we all wanted you here?"

The sincerity of the question made if impossible for him to lie to the young man. "I would suppose Mr. Dunne, is that for the first time I can recall, I wanted even some of what you are all suggesting to be true." He cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the direction this had taken.

"Of course, any illusion of my worthiness for undertaking a role in this search has clearly been negated by the outcome."

They all looked at him with confusion evident.

"It was hardly a stellar moment in my short tenure in Four Corners. I am not certain there has been a more embarrassing episode to speak of."

JD was shocked. "Are you kidding? We've only been able to guess at what must have happened, but damn it Ezra, the fact you made it back here was nothing but amazing. Just like an adventure in one of my books."

"It was hardly an heroic or noble accomplishment. I got thrown by a horse, tossed into a river, slept in the mud and made my triumphant return on the back of a mule. Hardly the impressive exploit upon which epic tales are based."

"You listen to me Standish. What you did out there – looking and not giving up; and what you did after, fighting like a son of a bitch to get yourself back here. That was heroic and noble and impressive and any other fancy word you want to put to it. That's the stuff that makes me – all of us – proud to call you our friend."

He could hear the sincerity, see it in the looks they were all giving him, but still could not bring himself to believe it. The gambler looked away, allowing the words and everything they meant to sink in. Could he allow himself the luxury of believing the remarks were sincere? Had he, finally, done something worthy of commendation from these decent men?

Chris was at a loss for how to get through to him. What could he say that would finally make some kind of difference? It took a minute, but a wry smile came to him. He looked down, waiting until he had Ezra's full attention. "I don't know what else to tell you Ezra. Ya done good."

The silence in the room was becoming overwhelming as six men waited for a sign that they had broken through the barrier. Ezra turned his head back, a smile ghosting over his face. "Thank you Mr. Larabee. I dare say you all put forth an exemplary endeavour as well, and I assure you, your efforts are appreciated."

Vin laughed. "You were right Nathan – he's gonna be his old self again."

"Damned fool couldn't just say thanks if his life depended on it." Buck added.

"OK, enough. He may sound like he's better, but he needs rest. Everybody out." Nathan stood and opened the door. His tone left no room for discussion, and the men slowly filtered out. Chris was the last, stopping at the bed and bending low to speak quietly.

"You're welcome Ezra. Good to have you home."

**M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7**

**The End**


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